I sat down today, and watched “Mr. Holland’s Opus”. One of my favorite movies, but not something I’ve watched in probably 4 or 5 years, if not longer. As I sat watching it, I realized something…I’m not where I expected to be at 23 years old. Since I was about ten, I talked about teaching music. Anyone who has ever known me, has known that music is and always has been my life. However, life never goes according to plan, it would seem, and so, here I am… 23, waiting tables, and looking into Cosmetology School.
As I watched the movie, I actually teared up… not because it was a particularly emotional part of the movie (which there are plenty of, mind you) but just for the fact that, I’ve given up on my dream. I don’t even think it’s my dream anymore… and I wonder if it ever really was.
People always ask you where you see yourself in 5 or 10 years, and had you asked me in 2002, I would have said teaching music at some high school. These days, if you asked me the same question, all I would picture is a big black void… no ideas… no dreams for the future.
Perhaps this is something I need work on, or it will just happen with time. I don’t know.
-Zsa-Zsa-
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